Spartan Beast

On the 6th September a brave group of Striders went to Ivory’s Rock (just outside Ipswich) to take on the Spartan Beast. The Beast is a 21k trail run with 35 physically challenging obstacles thrown in along the way. If you miss an obstacle, there is a 30 burpee penalty! Our team consisted of Michael Stark, Nigel Small, Peter Wilkes, Anthony Fuster, Tanya Wehl and Ben McDonell (friend of Striders). Louise Lewis was our cheer squad and support crew. Here’s what unfolded – in verse…


T ’was the week before Spartan

When all throughout the year,

We’d been preparing for the show down

And to earn ourselves a beer!


What a brilliant day it was

The day had finally arrived

The perfect day for adventure

With Benny on our team, we had God on our side!


We donned our headbands

Said our last goodbyes

Then ran out of the starting area

“Who are you?” “I am Spartan” was the reply.


The Beast was out there in many forms

From kettle bell pulls

Crawling under barbed wire fences

To climbing up 10 foot high walls.


Then came sandbag mountain

That broke many a soul

It got even the best of us

Our hammies were screaming – Owwwww!!!


The mud pit was fun

Every kids dream!

Just stay away from Starky

His revenge is not so sweet!


The mud was washed off

In the coldest of mountain streams

After sliding down a slippery bank

Only a wet rope to slow our decent – weeee!


Then came the rope climb

The toughest obstacle of all

Most of us conquered our demons

We gave it our all!


We crossed the finish line

After leaping through fire

And celebrated our victory

With beers all round (some preferred cider)


We conquered the Beast

We finished as a team

We saw sides of each other

That we didn’t really want to see

(Also mud in places there probably shouldn’t have been!)


Everybody Dies

But not everybody Lives!

Who’s up for the Ultra Beast next year (42k + 70 obstacles)?

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